Roadblock or Excuse? - Part 2

Changing a part of your life is challenging. If it was easy you would have done it by now, without problems, without difficulty. But you haven’t. Why? Is it because of a roadblock or is it because of an excuse?

Every roadblock has a solution. Every excuse has an answer. The key is to differentiate which is your personal limiting factor. The way you attack a roadblock is different than an excuse. One is process oriented (tools and resources), the other is people oriented (mental limitation).

Part 2 of this 2-part series focuses on Excuses.

An excuse is exactly that, an attempt to justify why change isn’t happening. When you create an excuse, you are actively placing a mental limitation on your ability to change. You are providing rationalization to something that honestly is just not true. (If it was true, it would be a roadblock and you would work through it as such). Excuses are the lazy person’s method to permit, or give permission, to fail. Working through an excuse requires CBT – Cognitive Behavior Therapy.

CBT is based on the idea that how we think (cognition), how we feel (emotion) and how we act (behavior) all interact together. It focuses on how our thoughts determine our feelings and our behavior. How you view the change, or your ability to conquer the change you wish to be, is the key. Are you thinking about the change with clear vision or are you skewing the authentic data to rationalize failure? How do you know if you have a clear vision? The answer lies in the solution you are telling yourself. Here is an example of an excuse conversation:

Problem – I am struggling implementing an exercise program.

Collect Information – It has been three months and I can’t get consistency

ALL causes – I don’t have time. My gym is closed. The weather is cold. My friend quit going with me. I’m bored with what I was doing.

Main roots – My friend quit coming with me and I am no longer accountable. I am finding it challenging to motivate myself

Solution – Why does this happen to me? I can’t do this. Will never do this. It’s too hard. I quit.

If you stop at the causes and never implement a solution, these causes turn into excuses. You must change your thoughts and actively (sometime out loud multiple times) that you can do this. You will make change if you find the right cause and implement a solution. By changing the thoughts in your head from “I can’t” to “I just need to find another way”, you will change you actions and your behaviors. Author Gena Showalter said, “Giving up is the only sure way to fail.” Don’t give up. This take practice. Daily practice. Remind yourself why you want to change. Visualize yourself once you make the change. Imagine your life living the best you. And then give yourself permission to empower the change you want in your life. Go back and reevaluated the causes effecting your ability to change, find the root cause and pursue the solution.

Ready to stop the excuses and life that roadblock? Check out Part 1 - Roadblock or Just an Excuse?