Stop Glorifying Busy
Everyone is SO busy. Where does all the time go? I can't get anything done. Sound familiar? Throw a rock out your window and you will hit someone that is "so busy". What about you? Are you SO busy?
We say we are so busy like it's a good thing. Like it's admirable to be so busy. Now, don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have written about creating a time management life schedule if I was unaware of the demands we all have. Juggling life is actively living life. I get it. What I am referring to is how society finds it almost flattering to say that we are busy. How many times have you heard the following?:
I was going to call you but just got too busy.
I would love to help out but life just gets in the way.
We just can't get together this weekend, there is too much going on.
How many times have YOU said something similar to the above? It's so easy. And, we have become accustomed to accepting "so busy" as an answer that we don't even question intentions. Why? Why are we permitting people to use this as an acceptable reason, and why are we allowing "busy" to be an acceptable answer we give? Because, we have put the term "busy" on a pedestal for the world to see as a measure of worth. Don't believe me?
The next time someone tells you that they are so busy, think about what comes to mind. A usual thought people have is that there is something so important in the other persons life that is far superior to what you are asking. Pretty basic right? Yes. True? Maybe. The next thought might be, why am I not important to this person? Which next leads to, what did I do that they don't want to make time for this (thing) or me? Ever feel this way when someone tells you they are too busy? Have you ever thought about how you are making someone feel when you say it? The glorification of busy has the ability to create an emotional gap that usually is not intentional. But it happens. So, what is the best way to stop the cycle of busy? Stop glorifying busy. Own busy.
How do you own it? Three simple steps:
Step 1: Don't bring on busy. Be proactice. You know your time constraints yet you continue to take on more. Why? Seriously stop and ask yourself, "Why am I taking this on?". If there is any other answer than I love this and will find that it provides joy to me without negatively contributing the the expense of my well-being, then your answer should be no. Period. Do not say that you are "busy". Thank them for asking then Just say that you cannot take on more at this moment.
Step 2: Identify your priorities. There really are only so many hours in the day. And only have the right to determine what your priorities are, no one else. So when you are approached to do something, ask yourself how this will effect my priortities. Will taking this on limit time with what I find a priority in my life at this moment? If the answer is yes, do not do it right now. Maybe your child is struggling in a class and you help with homework at night. Tell the other person that you may be able to help next semester. Teh details you choose to share are what you are comfortable with, but remember that the more information you give, the better the outcomes for all will be. More discussion in step 3.
Step 3: Tell people the truth without using the word busy. You have to feel comfortable with what you share with people. And there is a fine line between sharing information and whining about how busy you are. The key is not using the actual word busy. You have heard the phrase "The truth shall set you free". Be truthful. Tell them that you have started a new exercise program in the morning and can't make the before school meeting. If you are interested in helping, offer a time that meets your needs and fits within your prioritization schedule.
Being selfish is ok. We don't do enough of it. Whether it is volunterring at your child's school or time for yourself to go to the gym, it is your choice. Own it and be comfortable with your choice. Others will understand when you give them authentic information and not excuses. Don't leave people with "I'm too busy". Tell them the truth and own it. Most people have a level of emphathy, and may even offer to help you (which you should take by the way).