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Advice to my 16-year-old self


As the new year approaches, when people are thinking of making changes in their life, most take time to reflect on the past. That past might be this past year or a "prior life" years ago. As I help motivate people to make changes from within themselves, we commonly explore their personal journey to their current station in life. When we gather authentic information regarding the change they want to make, I find many reflect on advice. Advice they have received along the way. Advice, in hindsight, they would have given to themselves. Advice that has shaped the person they are today, as well as the person they want to be in the future. What advice would to share with your teenage self if given the chance?

Notes to my 16-year-old self:

  1. People come into your life for a meaning, reason or a season. Make sure you know the difference and the role people plays. Not everyone is meant to stay and that is OK. Learn something from each relationship. Positive or negative.

  2. Words hurt. Choose them very wisely. You never know how you’re influencing someone positively by telling them how much you like their new haircut. And you don’t know how negatively you're affecting them by saying they can’t sit with you at lunch. It’s matters.

  3. Have less drama. And don't create drama - it's just not necessary.

  4. Do you. It isn’t always easy, but it will help you to always feel good about yourself. You are unique.

  5. Don’t continue to be around people that make you feel bad about yourself or bring you down or suck the energy out of you just because you "think" they are your friend. Be around people that build each other up and support each other. These are your real friends. You know who they are. Cut the bad ones loose.

  6. Learn to relax. And make it a habit. It might be exercise, meditation, a bath, reading. Anything. Make sure you practice an outlet for stress or you will feel like you are going crazy.

  7. Take time every day just for you. No electronics, no social media, no television, no radio. Just a small amount of time for you. Everyday.

  8. A parent's job is twofold. First is to keep you safe and second is to raise you in a way that you will be able to make it on your own. You will not always agree with them but know they are trying the best they can to do their job the best they can.

  9. Your parent's divorce is not your fault.

  10. Keep your ex-boyfriends / ex-girlfriends gifts no matter how much you want to burn them. They will be a great topic of conversation someday.

  11. You are beautiful.

  12. Look for a positive daily. There are so many wonderful things in the world happening around and to you. Challenge yourself to see it, especially on days that are difficult. You will feel more balanced.

  13. Some people just suck.

  14. Make sure your parents get you a pet.

  15. Practice empathy.

  16. School really does matter so do the best you can do. Take classes that challenge your mind. Take classes that are out of your comfort zone. Join a club or a sport or the chorus. Be involved.

  17. Be fearless.

  18. Be nice.

  19. Have goals. Big and small. Write them down. Keep them close and share them with those that support you. Goals give you something to look forward to.

  20. Never, ever, ever give up hope.

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