Change of Back to School - 4 Years Later

I wrote this original blog four years ago when my son was getting ready to head for his next High School adventure. A big change for sure. Now I sit getting ready to take him back to college.

As a Mom, I have some advice. Please. Listen. Give yourself GRACE. You are allowed to feel, to be concerned, worried, even sad. It's ok. But guess what, your child is feeling the change too. Maybe some of the words are a bit different and changed to finding the dorm, finding your class, finding new friends ... Give them GRACE. Prayer. Love. You did a good job Mom. And so has your Child. Read Below.

Original post 2018:

Do you realize how great a change it is to return to another school year? This is especially true as children get older. Bedtime. Lunches. Carpool. Car lines. Traffic patterns. Mealtimes. Friends. Finding your locker. Finding your classroom. Finding your parking space. Homework. All of these changes happen basically overnight and they effect the entire family. When you look for the authentic information of the situation, the stress of change may be eased. It is different from child to parent, but the feeling of change is very real.

Letter to my Child:

I love you. And that love takes many forms. One of which is stress. Change is stressful. And unfortunately, I might show it no matter how much I try to hide it as you go back to school. I worry if you will find your way to class. I worry if your favorite friends are in your lunch. I worry about you being safe at school. And you make it quite obvious that you find this annoying. Very annoying. I will annoy you by asking EVERY question about every minute of your day. YOU will roll your eyes. I will be frustrated. But I'm still going to ask.

Please know that I are not "really" frustrated with you. I see you growing up, getting bigger, getting independent. When you say "I got this Dad" or "I'm not a little kid anymore Mom" and I roll my eyes, try to give me a break. My heart is hurting just a little. I know your are growing up and I really do think that is awesome. I think you are awesome. So, how about you share some piece of information - any information regardless of how silly it is to you that I can hold on to. It helps me know that everything is ok. And if it isn't ok, I can (try to) help you. I know change is stressful for both of us. The more I know, the less I (might) be on your case (as you like to say). Let's try to help each other out. Maybe when you see my "stress" this week, you can remember its because I love you so much. And not just because I'm being a nag.

Letter to my Parent(s):

I love you. And that love takes many forms. One of which is independence. Change is stressful. And each of us has our own way of dealing. My way is showing you how independent I can be. I worry about fitting in. I worry about eating lunch alone. I worry about a lot more then I tell you. And the lack of sharing you probably find annoying. I get it. You ask all the right questions, I guess. But does it have to be so many? When I tell you "I got this Dad" or "I'm not a little kid anymore Mom" I mean it. I am growing up.

But even when I don't tell you, I still need your advice and want to talk with you (even when my earphones are in or I'm rolling my eyes at you). I do listen, believe it or not. So, in place of asking so many questions, why don't you share some information with me - about anything. Maybe something about your day. Or something about when you went to school. Or maybe how you took Algebra and can help with homework because that class looks tough. Who knows what you might find out. It helps me know that everything is ok, that what's going on is pretty normal and that you got my back. And if there is something I want to share, I know I can come to you. Let's try to help each other out. I love you no matter what. I just need to be me.